Miracles
by Faith2nycKJ
Summary: Set in a present day AU Natasha and Steve are a happily married couple. Steve goes missing during his tour in Iraq. Natasha, Sam, and Tony refuse to believe they've lost him and never give up looking. Also, just 6 weeks after his disappearance Natasha discovers she is pregnant with a baby they've always dreamed of, but told would be a miracle conceiving naturally. Remember...AU!
1. Chapter 1

"Natasha, can Tony and I swing by? We need to talk to you."

Natasha sighs. "I just got James down for a nap. Can you tell me on the phone?"

"Nat, please. It's about Steve. We need to show you something." Sam says.

"Sam I'm sorry but the baby's asleep finally. He was up all night last night teething and…" She takes a breath to steady herself. "I'm exhausted. So please, if it's a lead just send me whatever you and Stark have and I'll take a look as soon as I –"

"Nat! No, listen to me. Tony found Steve! He found him Nat. We're going in to get him. I'm just waiting on the official orders, but its happening soon! "

Suddenly Natasha feels like there's no air around her. Could this really be happening? Something inside her wouldn't let her let go of the hope that her husband was out there somewhere, still alive. She prayed for a miracle. She never wavered, and never lost hope. She had a reason to believe in miracles, her son was a miracle after all...

 **Flashback:**

She found out she was pregnant about 6 weeks after Steve went missing.

"Nat? Are you okay?"

Natasha tries to stop the tears falling down her face, but she can't. She tries to take a deep breath but it just gets caught in her throat.

Sam walks over to her and joins her on the couch. "What's wrong? Is it Steve? Is he…did they find-"

" - I'm pregnant."

Sam is shocked. Being Steve's best friend he knows Natasha's situation. She found out about a year ago the odds of her and Steve successfully conceiving a child were extremely low, almost impossible. It would be a miracle.

"I'm scared, Sam. What if we don't find him? I can't do this by myself. We wanted this for so long. We were talking about adopting before he left for Iraq. I don't know if I can do this alone."

"Nat, you are not alone. We're going to find him. I'm here, okay? You have Clint and Tony too. I'm sure the three of us will be competing for favorite uncle from day one." They both laugh at the thought. "I promised Steve before he left that I would be here if you needed anything, and I will be."

"Thank you, Sam."

 **James' birth…**

"He looks just like Steve." Clint says.

Natasha smiles, "yeah, he does."

It's been a long day but she can't stop staring at the little boy in her arms. He's the most beautiful thing she's ever seen. He has blonde hair and blue eyes, just like his dad. It absolutely broke her heart that Steve wasn't here for this. Looking at her precious son, she decided to honor her husband by giving him a name she was positive her husband would choose if he was here.

"Do you have a name picked out?" Sam asks.

"Anthony is a great name!" Tony says.

Clint and Sam roll their eyes but Nat's eyes never leave her son. "James." she says. "James Steven Rogers."

 **End flashbacks**

Everything around her looks blurry. She can barely feel Sam's grip on her arm as he walks her through the hallway of the military hospital towards her husband's room. She can see Tony talking to what looks like a group of three military doctors assembled just outside the door of Steve's room.

"Tony, is he awake? Is he okay? Sam said he had amnesia, but he's starting to remember?"

"Mrs. Rogers. My name is Dr. Helen Cho and I'm the head doctor in charge of your husband's care. I, along with Dr. Bruce Banner, and Dr. Stephen Strange, are all doing everything we can to figure this out. It will take some time, but we know that your husband suffered a head injury that caused what we believe was temporary amnesia. However, it seems Captain Rogers' memory is returning to him. There's a lot we don't know yet but I believe with time he will make a full recovery. My team and I will do our very best to answer your questions as soon as we have some time for further evolution."

"Is he awake? Can I see him?" she asks.

"Yes. He's been asleep for a while. We sedated him for his transfer back here. Mr. Stark hasn't left his side since Iraq. He should wake up soon. In the morning we will be running more test but your welcome to stay as long as you want."

"Thank you." Natasha heard Sam say.

Natasha can't seem to make her feet move. She has so many questions she wants to ask. Where was he all this time? Will he remember everything? Will he remember her, and the life they have together. Will he remember what happened to him? James. How is she supposed to tell him he has a son?

She looks at Sam and asks, "can you call Clint and let him know I will be staying here tonight? He's with James, but I promised him I would let him know what's going on."

"Of course, I'll be here if you need me." Steve's best friend says.

"Thank you, Sam. For everything."

She watches Sam pull out his phone and walk away from the group. She takes a deep breath as she looks at Tony.

"Has he said anything to you?" she asks as she takes a step to the door.

"Not really, he keeps saying your name. Keeps asking for you."

A split second later Natasha's arms are around Tony. "I can't believe you found him. I'll never be able to thank you enough for finding him."

"I was only following your lead, Nat. You never gave up on him. I'll be right out here if you need me."

"Okay." Natasha takes a deep breath, and walks in the room.

 **A few hours later…**

Natasha is sleeping with her head on the hospital bed and her hand laced with her husbands. She's pulled out of her restless sleep when she feels Steve's hand lightly squeeze hers. She looks up in time to see his eyelids flutter, trying to open.

Captain Steven Grant Rogers finally wakes up.

"Nat?"

 **To be continued…**


	2. Chapter 2

Natasha is startled awake by Steve's scream. She realizes right away that he is having a nightmare.

"No, no, no, please…" Steve whimpers, still asleep and terrified.

"Steve. Steve, baby, wake-up." She tries to pull him out of his nightmare. Nothing.

"Stop. Stop, please stop." he keeps repeating.

This is breaking her heart. Steve never has nightmares. His first two weeks home while in the hospital she noticed that Steve was always fighting to stay awake, especially at night. She didn't spend every night with him at the hospital because of James, but when she did she noticed he would purposely stay awake if he could. She realizes now maybe there was a reason.

Natasha is getting desperate, she's practically sitting on him now. "Steve, it's me. It's Nat. Your safe. Baby, come on, come back to me. Wake up."

His eyes shoot open and a scream forces its way out of his throat. At the same time Steve reacts, but before he could stop himself Natasha is thrown off of him, landing hard on the floor. She watches as he looks around and realizes he's home. Sweat drips down his face and he's panting hard, trying to catch his breath.

On the floor by their bed Natasha is trying to wrap her head around what just happened. She hears James crying from his crib where he was obviously woken up by Steve's scream. It's barely past midnight, to early for his normal 2 a.m. bottle, which means he's crying because he's scared.

Even in his panicked state, Steve realizes he must have thrown Natasha off of him. "Oh God, Nat. I'm sorry." he's shaking now, he pulls his knees to his chest practically curling in on himself.

Natasha immediately pulls herself up off their bedroom floor and moves to comfort him. When she tries to pull him into a hug he flinches away from the contact. "It's alright. I'm fine, you didn't hurt me. Okay? Look at me, Steve. You had a nightmare. It's okay now. Your home."

He makes eye contact but still moves away from her touch. "I could've though. I could've hurt you." he says looking away from her but not really focusing on anything in sight.

James' cries are getting louder, more demanding. She's completely torn between comforting her husband or her son. "But you didn't." He doesn't seem comforted by that at all. "I'm going to go check on James. Will you be okay for a few minutes?" He doesn't seem sure but nods his head yes anyway. "Okay, I'll be right back. I promise."

She walks a short distance down the hall into James's room. Her son is standing up in his crib, holding on to the bars. The second he sees her, he reaches for her. She picks him up and hugs him tight against her chest. "Shhh. It's okay little guy. Mommy's here. Don't be scared. It's alright now, we're okay. We're all okay." She's not sure if she's trying to comfort him or herself at this point. "Daddy just had a little nightmare. I got you now, love."

Moving quickly she places James on his changing table and changes his diaper. He watches her with his beautiful blue eyes. Steve's eyes. "You have your daddy's eyes, little one."

She finishes changing him and decides to go ahead and feed him, hopefully getting him back to sleep. Carrying James with her she walks down the hall to the kitchen and pulls out what she needs to make his bottle. Even though her hands are busy, her mind wanders to Steve. He spent 2 long weeks in the hospital under observation, but tonight is his first night back home with his family. She thinks back to those first few days. A lot of it feels like a blur but she'll never forget Steve meeting James for the first time…

 **Flashback**

Natasha's sitting on the side of Steve's hospital bed, her fingers laced with his. He seems to always be touching her if he could, like a lifeline. This didn't bother her though, in fact sometimes she needs it as much as he does.

"Are you ready to meet your son?"

He doesn't answer her, just meets her gaze nodding his head. He seems nervous, but before she could say anything there's a knock at the door, and Clint enters holding James. Sam and Tony are right behind him. Noticing his mother, James immediately reaches for her, practically jumping out of Clint's arms in her direction. Smiling at her son's enthusiasm she takes James from Clint and kisses him gently on the crown of his little blond head. "Let's meet your daddy, love."

She turns gently and watches as Steve meets his son for the first time. He's seen pictures and videos on her phone, but they've never been in the same room before. She's dreamt of this moment so many times, wondering how it would feel, but seeing the love in Steve's eyes was more beautiful than she could have ever imagined. She could see her husband fall in love at first sight, just like she did. Just like they all did.

Steve at first seems a bit lost for words. "He's perfect." he whispers.

"Do you want to hold him?" she asks.

He seems to hesitate at first, but the desire to hold his son is to strong to resist. He tries to be gentle as he takes James from Natasha.

"Hey son. I'm your daddy. It's so good to finally meet you."

Everyone watches as James pats his chubby little hand against Steve's check, smiling and gurgling away.

"I love you so much." he whispers to his son.

 **End flashback**

Natasha walks back into the master bedroom a few minutes later. James fell back asleep a few minutes before and was now sound asleep in his crib. Steve was right where she left him, sitting in the same spot. Natasha climbs into bed and scoots over towards Steve. She hates feeling like she can't reach him. They've always been so in touch with each other's emotions. "Steve?"

"Did I hurt you?" he asks, still staring ahead at nothing in particular.

"No. No, you didn't. I'm fine." she tries to tell him.

"But I scared James. I know I did."

"What are you talking about? James is fine, he's asleep." she doesn't like where this is going at all.

"I heard you talking to him. I scared him. What if he's scared of me now?"

"You heard me talking to him?" now she's confused.

He finally meets her worried eyes. "baby monitor…I heard you trying to calm him down."

She reaches for him again, and again he flinches, but the second her hand rest on his cheek he can't help but lean into her touch. "James is fine. I'm fine. You didn't hurt me. We're going to get through this. Remember what Dr. Banner said? He said it would take time. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Do you want to talk about your dream? Maybe it'll help." He shakes his head no. She knew that was probably wishful thinking, but she had to try. She moves to hug him, and thankfully he lets her this time. It feels so good to be back in his arms. This has always been her safe place. Home.

They sit there for a few minutes, just holding each other. Steve finally breaks the silence. "Do you really think James has my eyes?"

She pulls back from the hug but stays in his lap. "Your son is practically a carbon copy of you. Tony called him 'Mini Cap' for weeks until I threw a bottle at his head."

His laugh is like music to her ears. It's deep, and starts in his chest. She always feels it coming before she hears it.

As quick as the moment came, she can feel it pass. "I can hear you thinking. What's wrong?"

"I sorry, Nat. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry you went through all this alone. And I'm sorry I'm not ready to talk about it yet."

She places her hands on both sides of his face. She needs him to hear this. "Steven Grant Rogers, you have nothing to be sorry about. You are my husband… for better or for worse remember? I'll be here for you, when your ready. I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you, Nat."

She kisses him. It starts off gentle at first, but it feels so damn good she can't help but deepen it. A few seconds later he responds by pulling her as close as he could get her. It was incredible. She's been so careful with him since he came back. They've kissed plenty since he's been home, but this is different. There was a hunger behind it that she hasn't felt since the night before he left. This felt amazing. Perfect. She wants him, and she can feel that he wants her too.

Somewhere inside, there's a little voice that reminds her he may not be ready for this. She didn't even realize her hips were slowly rolling into his. Shit! "Steve. Steve, wait. We don't have to do this if your not ready."

When he looks at her she can see how turned on he is. She knows that look. She misses that look. "Are you sure?"

"I want you, Nat. Please."

Well that does it. The next thing she knows, she's moving to get rid of her pajamas. She sees him doing the same. She climbs back into his lap and slowly sinks down on him. Oh God. They both seem to need a minute to process the feeling of being together like this again. Slowly Natasha starts to roll her hips. It feels so good it takes her breath away.

It doesn't take long for them both to pick up the pace. Steve is breathing so hard that it gets her attention. Somethings not right. He's looking at her like he's overwhelmed. She can see it now, he's starting to panic. "Steve. Steve, shhh. Slow down a second for me. Easy." It's working. He's looking at her, slowing down his pace, following her lead. Feel me! "There it is, just like that. It's just you and me."

He's much calmer now, more in control of his movements. "That's it. Feel me." She closes her eyes, but picks up the pace a bit, and he follows. She takes them both right to the edge, both ready to give in to the pleasure. "Yes. Steve, oh, God." she feels herself shatter around him.

"Nat. Nat. I love you. Love you so much." he whimpers as pleasure takes over his body. He's seems lost in it, but in a good way.

They both take a minute to catch their breath.

"Stop thinking so hard Steve."

"I don't know what happened. I couldn't breath." He tries to explain.

"Stop. It's okay. We're okay."

"Okay. I'll make it up to you." he says, kissing her gently.

"You better." she jokes.

After a few minutes they move to clean themselves up, and find there clothes. Natasha comes back from the bathroom and climbs into bed. She lays her head on his chest and his arms wrap around her, securing her there where she belongs. She listens to his heartbeat and is slowly falling back asleep. He's home!

"Nat?"

"Hmm, what?"

It takes him a second but he says, "Do you think you could come with me to my appointment with Dr. Banner tomorrow? I think it would be easier if you were there."

"Yeah. Of course. I'll see if Sam can watch James."

It's quite for a moment before she whispers to him, "we're going to get through this together. I promise."

"I know. I love you, Natasha."

"I love you, too. Welcome home."


End file.
